No Derby For Me

Previously I wrote here about my excitement about being a Fresh Meat roller derby girl. Then I wrote here a month ago about how I want to quit. Guess what?

I’m Quitting


I have suspected anterior Chronic Exertional Compartment Syndrome. I say “suspected” because my ortho dr. doesn’t think I should bother with the very invasive testing because the only real treatment for it is surgery. He says it’s not like I’m 16 and this is going to affect my career as an athlete. That I’m middle-aged (oh really? ::scowl::) and it’d be better that I modify my activity to exercises that don’t cause my symptoms. He recommends swimming. Good thing I like to swim!

The thing is he couldn’t seem to tell me what may have caused these symptoms. Though, of course, I know but wanted the doctor to tell me so I can feel more assured. I want to tell myself that I’m not quitting because I’m a quitter. That I’m quitting because biologically I can’t do it. Of course that’s the truth but it still seems like a lame excuse.

I had no trouble skating before derby (I could skate for several hours) and now I can only skate for 10 minutes before my legs stop working, they turn to jello and I trip over myself. Same with jogging now. I jog for more than 30 seconds and I feel intense burning. The pain I can get through but then my leg becomes temporarily paralyzed and I get foot drop and I even have trouble walking (I’ve tripped and fallen when not going very slowly).

I’ve been working with a physical therapist for a month and she thinks the front lower leg muscles that I built up when doing derby have gotten bigger and that anatomically there isn’t enough room in my fascia for the muscles during exercises that use my lower leg. Fortunately the PT has worked so that I can take less time recovering after 30 seconds of jogging. However, I’m still very frustrated with this as I used to be able to run 5ks.

I am so bummed about this.

Time to move onto something else. I hope to spend more time blogging here. Thanks for reading, friends.

13 thoughts on “No Derby For Me

  1. “Lame” excuse. I see what you did there! 🙂

    As hard as it was for you to make the decision about whether to continue with Derby or not, this certainly makes that easier. You don’t have to decide, because it’s not an option any more. You didn’t fail, or have a lack of determination, you just don’t have the physical capability to do it. Not your fault. Be proud of keeping at it so long.

    I don’t suppose there’s swimming Derby?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Ubi.😊

      There is a local swim team though it’ll be a long time before I’d be in good enough shape to do that. Good news is my family and I are joining the Y this weekend and I’ll have access to a pool.😊

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Perhaps I should have said, ‘yay that you like swimming’. No, I’m a land lover. I love a stroll along a beach with my feet in the shallows but that’s about it. Things like seaweed around my ankles, sand in bathers, the daunting never-ending horizon, rips and the awkward part between being wet and getting dry. While swimming pools have the security of ‘edges’, there’s chlorine, change rooms and you still have that part between being wet and getting dry.

        I actually sound crazy. Bet you’re glad you asked! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Funny, I was just thinking about all these issues you brought up last night before I read this. It can be quite a pain to go swimming, can’t it? Mostly I don’t like being in my swimsuit in public. That’s something I guess I just have to learn to get over.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. Nah, you’ll care more about that than anyone else will. I steer clear of bikinis though, I don’t know how anyone can wear them without just feeling like they’ve gone to the beach in their underwear. If you’re planning to swim at a pool someone told me to wet your hair first in non-chlorinated water and stick it under a cap, it helps prevent your hair from absorbing the smell. Good luck, you’ll be awesome 🙂


  2. Looking at the symptoms of Chronic Exertional Compartment Syndrome. I’m starting to wonder if thats what I have…
    My lower legs … starting with my feet and slowly moving up my leg until it got to the knee… I’d get pains, or more like an ache… then it would feel kinda like burning… then it would be weird fuzzy, pins and needle, heaviness, and then a strange kinda painful numbness. It would happen I was using the stationary bike or the treadmill. It is putting me off getting back into the gym, which I really need to do for my mental health…
    The Dr. looks are me weirdly when I try and explain the pain. So did the personal trainers at the gym…


    1. Could be as that sounds very similar. Have you ruled out shin splints? It could also be tendonitis. Whatever it is I’d take it easy and not go too fast when building up your exercise routine. And ice after exercise and stretch your calves. I was getting burning at the lower part of my leg/top of my feet that resolved after daily stretches and rolling (self myofascial massage) of my calves. Apparently I have overdeveloped calves that are really tight. Maybe you have the same issue?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. So if I understand this correctly, part of the problem is that your muscles are too big?

    I think swimming is a far better exercise that roller derby, though it lacks the social side of things.

    I realise the gender is wrong, but this quote came to mind:

    As a person with even more years behind me than your good self, this is something I am coming to accept.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Muscle volume can increase up to 20% during exercise, so when I exercise and this increase happens in my lower leg there is not enough space for the muscle.

      Love the quote! Thanks 😀


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About Quixie

Hi! I go by "Quixie." Quixie is a shortened version of "quixotic," which means: "exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical." It's how I described my evangelical Christian faith when I started blogging 5 years ago. Now I'm an agnostic atheist who is trying to find a balance between idealism and reality. I write primarily about my mental health journey (I have bipolar disorder), and I also discuss my deconversion, mindfulness, exercise, music, reading, and other cultural topics.