As a protest to being forced to be “thankful” I was going to create a list of my pet-peeves. Then I thought of people in my life who have intentionally chosen to focus on what’s positive in their lives, not out of any denial nor delusion of their circumstances, but as a decision to frame their lives in a way that makes life worth living. I think they are onto someone and must I really be a sour-puss?
I woke up to two friends texting me “Happy Thanksgiving!” which made me smile. Two friends who are both childishly enthusiastic about life. My life is too dreary and so people like them are a gift.
A gift. As in, someone buying me a present? Hmm…The word “grateful.” I am no longer a dog grateful for scraps falling off the table. Do I deserve anything good that comes my way? I no longer consider the question. I don’t care if I deserve it or not. I will simply take the good. But am I grateful for it, though?
No, I’m not grateful. Do I acknowledge that I am wealthy by the world’s standards? Yes. Am I grateful for it? No, but I’d like to respect it by enjoying my life more and also maybe do something to help others enjoy their lives more. And I’m trying to do just that.
Appreciate. Is that maybe the better word?
To be grateful is to be indebted to someone or something. By that definition I am not, nor do desire to be, grateful. According to the Oxford dictionary, to appreciate something, however, is to “recognize and enjoy the good qualities of someone or something.” Yes, yes, I do appreciate!
I appreciate more than I ever have. I especially appreciate you.