No. You are NOT!
Are THESE people OLD?
These people who are your age. Are they old?
Well, no. BUT…
They’ve accomplished SO much. They know who they are and are well established in their careers. And then here I am. I feel like I keep starting over, and over, and over and over.
What if the cycle never ends? More and more people come into the world after me and they are confident and enthusiastic and it’s too late for me.
Too late for what?
Too late for me to have a good life. It’s what I truly believe.
That’s balderdash! It’s NEVER too late. Until you are dead, that is.
But if I keep spinning in circles isn’t it better to just…stop spinning? Accept my fate?
Look, maybe you’ve been going about this all wrong. Maybe you’ve been doing life ineffectively. It’s not like you are alone in this, though. And it’s NOT too late.
You just don’t understand. I was one of the youngest people I knew. Then I left the workforce for several years, completely isolated myself from the world and reality, and then when I came back the world was different. Suddenly I’m the old one. Older but none wiser. Older but not more accomplished. Handicapped.
I was the oldest newbie at work and at derby. And now I’m by far the oldest at school. I’m just tired of it.
Honestly, you sound like you are whining a lot and really looking at it from the wrong perspective.
You want a do-over in life and you are upset that you can’t have it. And until you accept where you are and start viewing it differently you will be miserable.
Well, how am I supposed to view it?
Firstly, I want you to to realize you don’t know what is going on in people’s inner worlds, despite how much you think you know.
That’s true. I typically make assumptions in the positive about others and in the negative about myself. I perceive others as happy with little evidence of the fact.
Second, this comparison between your life and others with very different stories has got to stop. It’s as if you are actively trying to make yourself feel inadequate.
I think you may be right. When I feel insecure my brain goes back to what it knows, despite this thought pattern being destructive.
Thirdly, you need to find people who inspire you. In fact, let me challenge you: I want you to find one person to write about who truly inspires you. Shift your focus.
Fine. I’ll try.
And lastly, you are going to be stuck in classes with 20-25-year-olds for the next couple years so rather than seeing yourself as “old” how ’bout you get to know them and appreciate them for who they are? Someone’s age has no bearing on their ability to be an awesome enjoyable friend.
But it’ll never work. Nothing will work. I’m so tired.
Sssh. You are feeling depressed because you are still sick. Be gentle with yourself and we can face these problems later. Go get some more sleep.
The above was a conversation I had with myself just now. Time to follow my own advice and take a nap.