Almost done with the semester

One more week, then I can start writing more as I’ll have a 2 week break. Just have to finish my final exams. I’m hoping I can keep my A’s because it’d be really great to start my college do-over with a 4.0 GPA. I’ve worked my ass off for those A’s.

A paralegal friend of mine told me she’d like to back to school but she’s not brave enough. Is it “brave” to go back to school 15-20 years later? I don’t know. It sure does feel humilitating, but I push past those emotions because I choose to believe, despite my emotions, it’s never too late for anything. Until I’m dead, that is.

“I’m __ old and I’m failing at my life.” That’s what it feels like. But at some point if what you are doing isn’t working you’ve got to make a change. That sure sounds like a statement someone “brave” would make. Does it feel great to see other students bright-eyed and busy-tailed about life when you feel worn and are barely holding on to hope? No, it feels like shit.

A few years before my great-aunt died she, at the age of 82, got her Bachelor’s in Literature. She was old-enough to be the great-grandmother of some of her peers. If she can do it, so can I. It’s not too late. It’s never too late.

6 thoughts on “Almost done with the semester

  1. It is brave! It absolutely is. Good for you, Quixie.

    Don’t know how many others here are fans of J. Michael Straczynski’s work (“Babylon 5”, “Sense8”, the movies “Thor” and “Changeling”, comics and animation). His autobiography “Becoming Superman” was just released this week; I have been eagerly awaiting it and devoured it in one gulp. It is an incredible book. The first part is really hard to read; he had an awful childhood, full of poverty and abuse and insecurity.

    What really grabbed me and stayed with me is his courage… not only in overcoming the demons of his family and childhood, but especially when he began to be successful, and repeatedly came to points where he had to decide whether to keep doing what was easy and safe and comfortable and bringing him some success, or to do what was right and hard and risky and say, “I can’t do this any more” as a matter of conscience and conviction. Often this meant a return to being a “starving artist” and desperately seeking another path forward. But in the end, he chose to be his most authentic self, and he won through.

    It’s made me realize I’ve been choosing the “safe” path over the “authentic” path too often lately. And I know a lot of the circumstances and changes in your life, Quixie, have not been easy! But I see that same courage in you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Brent, that you see the same courage in me is quite the compliment. Thank you! I hope I’m able to inspire you in a small way to take the more “authentic” path.


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About Quixie

Hi! I go by "Quixie." Quixie is a shortened version of "quixotic," which means: "exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical." It's how I described my evangelical Christian faith when I started blogging 5 years ago. Now I'm an agnostic atheist who is trying to find a balance between idealism and reality. I write primarily about my mental health journey (I have bipolar disorder), and I also discuss my deconversion, mindfulness, exercise, music, reading, and other cultural topics.