I do not give you consent to ride my bumper

I go the speed limit. Sometimes slightly less, sometimes slightly more (within 5 mph). The slightly more is illegal. It could get me a speeding ticket. It hasn’t yet, likely because everyone around me is going at least 10 over. At all times, every part of the day.

And the way people drive you’d think that the other drives hate me, perhaps if you were driving near me you’d hate me too. And if that’s you, you really need to chill.

Not ride on my bumper. I still remember my daughter’s scream from a fender-bender a few years ago. Car was speeding and not paying attention. Was deemed their fault but my old car that my grandparents gave me – that was payed off – was destroyed and I now am down $200 a month making payments on a “new” vehicle. Thanks.

People like some of you cause unnecessary anxiety. It’s because of the assholes – and maybe you are one of them – that ride on my bumper and then pass me when I’m about to make a turn anyway, speed by me, then flick me the bird. The rage in their eyes is as if I had killed their beloved dog, or slept with their wife or dared – heaven forbid – to try to avoid expensive speeding tickets.

I used to speed a lot. I used to always be late for things. Then a few years ago, to combat my anxiety over being late, I decided to allow my schedule more breathing room. Deciding to shoot for being early for things and – because I underestimate the amount of time it takes to get somewhere – I end up being on time.

I’m never later. Never. Not anymore.

And most of the time when I drive at a reasonable pace I feel peace. Not clutching the wheel angrily. Sure, sometimes I get annoyed at slower drivers, but there is peace in just enjoying the moment. The good weather, and if bad weather the music, or sometimes just being alone with my thoughts and feelings.

Maybe if more people planned better they could feel that peace too. But, no. Rush, rush, rush. And being alone with your thoughts and emotions…blech. That would be uncomfortable and maybe you’d realize how much of an asshole you are being.

You might have to confront your life and wonder why you are so angry and have the desire to kill people who have done nothing wrong, over driving, of all things.

Maybe you wouldn’t have to see the sanctimonious look on my face when I get to the light before you and pass you by, even going at my snail’s pace. Stop putting my life in danger. Back the fuck up.

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5 thoughts on “I do not give you consent to ride my bumper

  1. I drive the same way, and aggressive drivers really bother me too. About a month ago, I took a little too long in making a right turn on red to suit the driver behind me. She not only honked, she followed me to my office to give me a five minute tirade over it. I just gave her a blank look and refused to engage in arguing with her, and eventually she gave up and went away. (I wanted to scream at her “This isn’t New York! Slow down, quit honking at people, and just worry about getting where you’re going safely!”) I wish I had been able to get her license number! But at least I can take comfort in having made a shtty person’s day just a little shttier.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. She did WHAT? Followed you to your office?? Wow, that’s scary! The only legitimate reason for following someone in your car would be if the other person did a hit-n-run. Otherwise, it’s just stalking.

      I think you made the right move in just staring and not engaging with her. I mean youcould have told her you were just waiting to turn when you felt it was safe to do so because, in your experience, reckless drivers like her will sometimes plow through intersections with little regard for others’ safety. Buuuut…likely that wouldn’t have been helpful.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I’ve dealt with enough people having meltdowns to realize that any engagement is counterproductive. My only defense was to refuse to give her the reaction she was looking for, so she would give up and leave. If my phone was in reach, I’d have tried to get photos of her, or her car, but I keep it in the back seat while driving.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Agree 100%. I use humor and passive-aggressiveness to defuse my own emotions. I generally drive just a bit above speed limit, but if someone’s riding my bumper (especially if it’s a monster-ass truck)? I coast down to exactly the speed limit. And then if they persist, maybe a bit less. And when they give up and race by, I look left and show them a broad grin. I like to picture them getting pulled over at a speed trap just a few miles ahead.

    I don’t advise this behavior in really big cities where road rage is prevalent. Even where I live I am always taking a small risk that today is the crazy guy with the gun. But I’m not going to be intimidated into surrendering my choice, and I’m SURE not going to allow them to affect my emotions or wreck my day over it.

    But yes, ultimately it’s sad. Life is stressful enough; why drive around creating your own stress and anger to add on top?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I definitely use the passive-aggressive slow-down method. Especially for monster trucks. Compensating much? I agree that you do need to be careful with this method as this can really set people off to almost a dangerous level. If I’m able, sometimes I will pull over to the side of the road to let them pass.

      Liked by 2 people

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About Quixie

Hi! I go by "Quixie" My nickname comes from the term I began using to describe myself when I began blogging nearly 4 years ago: "quixotic," meaning "exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical." It's how I described my evangelical Christian faith at the time. Now I'm an agnostic atheist who is trying to find a balance between idealism and reality.