What are you looking forward to the most this year?
This last year was a rough one. They say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and I don’t always agree with that, but I think in this case it fits. I have some hopes for the year. Primarily, I hope for separating from my husband this year. That doesn’t sound like a good thing, but it’s necessary. I wouldn’t say it’s something I’m looking forward to, though, as it’s likely to be extremely stressful and sad.
I think what I’m looking forward to this year is using the resilience I gained from last year to keep on getting back up on that horse and trying new things until I find what works. To use a couple psychology terms I had developed a learned helplessness that may have, in some cases, caused a self-fulling prophecy I hate to admit it, but it’s true.
What I mean by this is that in all areas of my life I have the strength and resilience to find the most effective means and not look for the perfect solution. I’ll give some examples of a couple areas that I’ve made progress in.
Friends – Rather than moping about not having any friends IRL I’ve started with a small thing: I’ve invited people to lunch. In the past month, I’ve had lunch with three separate acquaintances, and I went to a freethinker group to meet people. I was neurotically and obsessively worried about all the little details of what I may be doing wrong because I don’t often get what I’m supposed to be doing in social situations.
I can keep working on these and other relationships. I can be friendly with people and I don’t have to let the social anxiety I feel prevent me. I’ve decided if they aren’t understanding that sometimes I’m neurotic and quirky and weird then they aren’t the type of friends I’d want anyway.
Exercise – For the past month and a half I’ve consistently gone for a 30-60 minute walk 4x/week. It’s not made a difference in changing the appearance of my body (ie. weight) but it’s made me healthier and certainly helps relieve some stress and often I get satisfaction from knowing that I did something healthy for myself.
But isn’t there anything specific I look forward to?
- I look forward to learning more about my daughter’s pending 3-day field trip to Washington D.C.
- I look forward to hearing what specialty high schools my daughter got in.
- I look forward to getting together with some deconvert friends from an online support group sometime this year.
- I look forward to my son’s next band concert.I look forward to visiting my mom and step-dad again in New Hampshire.
I look forward to hearing what specialty high schools my daughter got in.
What do you look forward to this year?