Write a letter explaining your life to someone right now (7 Days 7 Posts)

This is day FIVE of a blog series called 7 Days 7 Posts by daysixtyfive


To Whom It May Concern: {Nah, too formal.}

Hello! {that’s better}

My name is Quixie. That’s not my real name, but it’s the name I prefer to use in the webiverse. I’m a white female in my late 30s who lives in the southeast U.S. I’m married – soon to be separated – and I have two middle-school-aged children: an 11-year-old son, and a teenage daughter.

I was a student, for a few months this year. I was in school to be an Occupational Therapy Assistant (basically my dream job) but dropped out due to family concerns ($ and my daughter’s mental illness).

Currently, I’m in quite a bit of a bind. My husband is on disability pay and isn’t currently working. The rollover into long-term disability hasn’t been smooth and we are finding ourselves in what is starting to become a desperate situation financially. I didn’t anticipate this, but I don’t anticipate much, as life-planning is not one of my strengths.

I have been forced by necessity to contact my old employer from a year ago to see if they’ll hire me back while I find other work. I got a call from them and it looks like they might have been interested in starting me on Monday, but maybe not because I haven’t heard from them again.

In the meantime, I do have another job interview next week, at a hospital. The hours would not be ideal for family life (2nd shift and weekends with Monday/Tuesday off), but the pay is better and benefits superb. I need something like that to get me towards the independence I’m looking for. If they don’t hire me I have a meeting next week anyway at vocational rehabilitation, which will give me access to a greater job pool.

We had to borrow some money. It is very embarrassing to admit you don’t have your shit together and keep asking for help, especially at my age. I have to remind myself one of the main reasons for this is that I have a mood disorder (bipolar disorder) that wasn’t properly diagnosed or treated until about 4 years ago. My life has been adventurous and not necessarily in a good way.

Not to be a downer, but I do struggle a lot. Mostly I’m struggling with the long-term consequences of choices I made as a result of my mental illness. I’m actually functional now, but really just barely if I’m honest. I’m usually unemployed and haven’t been able to save any money or have much of a social life. And my kids, while they are great kids, are struggling as well.

I’m always going to struggle as this illness will be with me my whole life, but this phase of my life I’m just learning how to be a functional human being. It’s a lot of work, it really is.

In my spare time, I like to blog. I’ve always liked to write, from a young age I’d go through a journal about once a month. These days I spend nearly every day blogging, reading blogs, and commenting. It’s a hobby I really enjoy and when I’m not blogging for a while that usually means I’m deeply depressed.

I spend a lot of time watching YouTube. Way more than I really need to be. I like watching Mr Atheist, Stephen Colbert, David Packman, ContraPoints, Telltale, DarkMatter2525,The Thinking Atheist (Seth Andrews) and anything related to culture or the human condition. Which I guess, is most things. I watch a lot, is what I’m trying to say.

I also like to binge-watch shows. Currently, I’m watching Grace and Frankie, about two women in their 70s whose husbands leave them for each other (the two men finally admitted to their wives they are gay after 40 years of marriage). It’s a comedy-drama and the main characters and their antics help me realize it’s never too late to start afresh.

I listen to a lot of music on Spotify.  I love music. If my kids wouldn’t constantly tell me to stop I’d be singing all the time. And dancing. Based on my listening history the genre I like most is indie pop or indie rock, such as this:

Or this:

But recently I’ve gotten more into rock/progressive metal like this:

Now that you’ve gotten to know me a bit and learned about my life I’d like to hear more about yours.

Take care,

Quixie

P.S. Here’s a (nearly) real pic of me

23 thoughts on “Write a letter explaining your life to someone right now (7 Days 7 Posts)

  1. Kenyan, male, mid thirties an architect.
    A graduate student soon to be a PhD candidate.
    Have worked with the same firm since graduation.
    Love music (classical, rhumba, reggae), movies.
    I read a lot. Blog a lot too.
    Cycling is my way to exercise, though I feel like I can almost outweigh a young elephant.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for sharing, makagutu! It’s great to learn more about you. What are you studying in school?

      “Cycling is my way to exercise, though I feel like I can almost outweigh a young elephant.”

      LOL. This had me rolling. Thanks for the laugh. And, sadly, I can relate.

      Like

  2. Sadly, you really have to have a reasonable level of mental and physical health to make good choices, and if you’re missing one of those, things tend to not go well. One medication I need to keep from going blind costs $14,000 a year (that’s out of pocket). I’m already seriously disabled and can’t work, and with a child to fed and shelter, I should let myself go blind and put those funds toward other necessities. But I can’t bare to lose my eyesight on top of everything else, and so I make the choice to keep my family suffering in other areas. For those of us with mental or physical illness, we don’t always get reasonable options to choose from. Keep trying on the job front though, Quix…you may yet find one that could accommodate your disability.

    I swear to the non-existent god, Spotify has saved my life and kept me sane! I’ve recently discovered how much I love the Blues music genre, and then very recently discovered I actually enjoy some classical with opera-style singing (gasp!). Previously I listened mostly to pop/rock/dance. Hey, is there a way for me to follow you on Spotify? You’ve introduced me to a lot of different music I enjoy and I’d like to check out your playlists if you have any. Tool is an awesome band I’d totally forgotten about!

    Here’s a song I just discovered and have been obsessed with on spotify…it’s sung by a counter-tenor (man with a high voice) which I didn’t even know was a thing until 2 days ago. Vivaldi made this as a piece of religious music, but since it’s in another language, it doesn’t bother me so much. It’s the first song out of the two on this video (singing goes from 1:05-4:47):

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Jesus, Violet – $14,000! I don’t know if anyone can blame you for saving yourself from becoming blind, for goodness sake! I know I don’t.

      Regarding Spotify, I’m always open to discovering new music! I listened to that Vivalid piece and, wow, that Phillipe guy has a beautiful voice.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We spend over 60% of our annual income on healthcare. If you’re chronically ill in the US and need multiple medications, the only road you travel is the one straight into poverty. That’s with my husband working a good, professional level job. If you start out with a working class job, you just die.

        Liked by 2 people

          1. And what’s scary is that’s ONE medication. Lots of people might need more than one, and then you’re really f’ed. It’s horrifying. When I was a psych nurse we gave out tons of free samples, and then there was a huge crack down on that and we could give out no samples. I’m glad to see they’re doing some samples again.

            Liked by 2 people

          1. I agree, though tbh I’m doubtful any significant changes will happen anytime in the near future. We’ve got too many people here who are resistant to what they see as socialism.

            Liked by 1 person

          2. I don’t really think it’s fixable at this point. I had hoped Obama would fix healthcare during the 8 years he was in office, and nothing happened (Obamacare gave people access to insurance, but because it didn’t nothing to lower healthcare costs, people are still going bankrupt over everyday health issues). For those of us who didn’t vote for Trump, we still had some hope a businessman like him could at least take on the pharmaceutical companies to lower drug prices, but again, nothing happened. It seems no politician can get it done and in the meantime we’re DYING from lack of access to healthcare. Maybe I’m just too pessimistic, but I see no reason to hope anything will change.

            Liked by 1 person

  3. Hey, I found you on spotify and followed you! I think if you click on my name you’ll be able to see my playlists too. I do have a playlist of heavy metal there (some progressive metal mixed in) if you’re interested. Have you ever heard of the band The Toadie? They’re a bit metal and often sacrilegious (singer’s dad was a minister). Here’s a song from them call ed Backslider:

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I just made that deconversion playlist today after thoroughly enjoying yours…you inspired me to make it! I also like that you have some playlists for just love songs…that never occurred to me either. I tend to go with genres instead of “topics,” but I like the idea of having both now that you’ve opened my eyes. I’ve added many of your songs to my own playlists today and am having so much fun listening to your music!…thanks Quix!

        Liked by 1 person

          1. Glad you like them! Spotify says The Devil Makes Three is my “band of the decade.”…that’s how much I’ve listened to them. They’re very stripped down and many of their songs are quite dark in topic…which makes me (ironically) feel happy. Hallelu is a funny song of theirs about a preacher going to great lengths to make people convert to jeebus.

            Liked by 1 person

  4. What a beautiful letter. I am so sorry for the struggles that you are going through, I truly am. I hope you are alright, you sound like you are getting there day by day and that you are doing the best you can right now. You are truly admirable, what a strong woman you are! I am in awe by how strong you are. You can do this. I wish you all the best, I am sending you positive thoughts throughout this time. I hope your interviews go well as well, keep us updated!

    Liked by 1 person

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About Quixie

Hi! I go by "Quixie" My nickname comes from the term I began using to describe myself when I began blogging 5 years ago: "quixotic," meaning "exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical." It's how I described my evangelical Christian faith at the time. Now I'm an agnostic atheist who is trying to find a balance between idealism and reality.