The one where I talk about work

I’ve been a little overwhelmed by a program that was in the works at my job. We were to coordinate 150 families coming by our office this next week to get extra food funded by the government. They were to drive around the very small parking lot of our commercial complex to pick up the food.

This event was advertised to various agencies that serve the poor. Unfortunately, upper management neglected until yesterday to notify our neighbors in the complex that this operation was in the works.

The neighbors were not happy. They called the landlord who said that we could not have a bunch of cars driving around the parking lot. It seems like a reasonable complaint to me. I’d be unhappy too if I thought it’d affect my customers from having access to my business.

Fortunately the food won’t go to waste, as it is being moved to our main office for distribution. Unfortunately the main office is a 40 minute drive for most of our local clients, and they are bound to show up, only to be turned away.

What a mess.

On top of that we have many people needing help with rental assistance and it’s a complicated process, at least for me. The issue is primarily related to Covid, for two reasons.

The first is we have to find out if they lost income because of Covid, as we have set aside extra funding for those families. Often they’ll say that they were financially affected by Covid but never provide proof (like a letter from their employer saying they were laid off or hours cut) and so I end up waiting for several clients to get back to me.

On top of that, I am often waiting for clients to stop by to provide a copy of their lease. Once they provide their lease we have give them a voucher form that has to be signed and notarized by their landlord, agreeing a stay of at least 30 days if we cut the landlord a check. We can only pay up to $300 due to funding. This will give a family a few more weeks to come up with rent or find another place to live.

The second reason related to Covid that is an issue is that we are not allowing clients into our office. This means that we have to do all the business over the phone and coordinating things is often harder when you don’t have the person right in front of you.

The exception is when the clients come to drop off their lease and it’s an awkward interaction with my going to their car wearing a mask and gloves, trying to explain the paperwork by pointing out items on the form so they can read it. I need to make sure they understand what to do so as to limit the amount of visits and calls and it’s impossible to maintain a 6 foot distance.

I get confused with the funding because there are different funding sources each day with utilities and rent. I just typed a bunch up trying to explain it and it made no damn sense so I’m hoping tomorrow when I speak to my supervisor for an update that we can discuss that so I’m less confused.

I made a decision a couple days ago to accept I’m going to be at this job for a while. The job is not horrible nor am I desperate to leave, yet I’ve been obsessing about finding other work.

There are a couple reasons for this. 1. My mind is always obsessing about something. And 2. I have a goal and this job isn’t going to help me meet it.

I was looking at job postings several times a day and spending a lot of emotional energy on it and my therapist recommended I still look but only devote 30 minutes max a day to it. This has helped me.

Though now my brain is looking for something else to obsess about. I realize it’s better not to obsess about anything, and I don’t know if it’s my bipolar disorder or my neurotic personality but I don’t know how to not have an obsession.

I’m not sure if I should make it the goal to try to cure this thought dysfunction with therapy or if I just need to channel my obsessive nature into something healthy.

One thought on “The one where I talk about work

  1. Feel free to obsess about finding ME a job! I’m frustrated to the point of not really trying anymore. I can’t believe that in 3yrs time my Adj Gross Income (on taxes) went from $137,000 to $5,000. And that 5k was from selling retirement investments… otherwise it would have been a negative number!

    Do you mark up the forms with highlighter and post-its? I find that helps a lot.

    That SUCKS about the food distribution getting messed up due to complaints. I totally get it but given the state of things, even if it disrupted my business I’d let it slide if it wasn’t a weekly thing!

    As for the peeps who don’t complete their paperwork, I imagine you being very involved and putting in effort to get them to follow through. If so, you might need to learn to let it go… they’re accountable for doing the work by the deadline, not you. (Unless, of course, you enjoy doing it)

    Liked by 1 person

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About Quixie

Hi! I go by "Quixie." Quixie is a shortened version of "quixotic," which means: "exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical." It's how I described my evangelical Christian faith when I started blogging 5 years ago. Now I'm an agnostic atheist who is trying to find a balance between idealism and reality. I write primarily about my mental health journey (I have bipolar disorder), and I also discuss my deconversion, mindfulness, exercise, music, reading, and other cultural topics.