I haven’t felt like writing lately. I also haven’t been going for walks. I’m looking forward to when the weather cools down a bit, which should be in a few weeks.
Instead of walking I’ve been weight training. On top of using regular dumbbells I’ve also started doing Jessica Smith videos, which was what I was doing back in December when I was depressed and visiting my parents. It seemed to help.
I’m hoping by my birthday (in 4 weeks) to get to my weight before I started taking my antipsychotic, which made me gain 13lbs (~6kg). I’ve lost 6.5 (~3kg) in the past couple weeks from doing keto. It’s mostly water weight and it might be too optimistic that I’ll be able to lose another 6.5lbs in 4 weeks, but it’s possible.
I’ve also lost an inch off my waist, though that could possibly due to no longer being bloated. Oh, and my eczema hasn’t flared up like it usually does this time of year. I usually get tiny blisters over my pointer fingers and thumbs and that hasn’t happened. I must have cut something out of my diet that was causing an inflammation response (sugar) or added food that reduces it (spinach, nuts, fatty fish).
Today I went swimming with my son in my in-laws’ above ground pool. We played for nearly 4 hours. I’m exhausted in the best way.
What’s been on my mind the past few days is my daughter. It dawned on me when I was talking to my therapist that she’s likely going through a major depressive episode. Her symptoms fit. She will hardly leave her room but I got her to swim today for about 30 minutes. Getting her to do anything but sleep and occasionally eat has been nearly impossible.
She is Vitamin D deficient so hopefully the supplements her doctor prescribed are starting to work.
While in the pool she talked to me about wanting to do something with her hair (cut it, dye it, braid it, something she says.) For her to actually express something she wants is a good sign. She also told me that she believes she does a lot of “maladaptive daydreaming,” meaning that her daydreams overtake her real life. In other words, she’d rather be daydreaming than living.
I told her, Honey, I did that the majority of my life until recently. I think it’s a symptom of extreme stress. You’d rather be in fantasy world.
Tomorrow her dad and I have a session with her therapist to discuss what the best way to proceed with her care is, and the following week she sees another psychiatrist (hers moved to another city several months ago).
Overall, I’m feeling a lot more hopeful than I was a few days ago.