Day 77: Tired

Ever since I gave my 2 week notice to work I’ve been really tired. I’ve felt dizzy, my shoulders and neck constantly ache. My coworkers took the news well, but the Christmas in July program has been very stressful. I’ve been going through 130 backpacks (work calls them “book bags” but I grew up calling them backpacks), going through them, moving them around and we distribute them to clients as they trickle in. I’m too tired to go to the gym when I get home. This strangely makes me feel despair. I fall asleep when I get home from work and I feel like I’m neglecting my children who are now staying with me (though they are teens and they are fine so is it really “neglect”?).

The bags are heavy: full of school supplies, clothes and shoes. Maybe that explains the tiredness and achiness. Maybe I don’t need to go to the gym since I’m already getting a workout. Maybe that’s why I take a nap every day after work.

My new supervisor wrote me and introduced herself. Her email seemed warm. Then I asked her about schedules and some other question about the job and her response didn’t seem as warm. So now I’m paranoid for no good reason that I’ve gotten on her bad side. I have a fear that they’ll regret hiring me. This happens with every new job.

I am anxious about getting the CPR class done in time for my start date August 30. I found an instructor who things she’s having a class the week before but will let me know the exact date. That might not be good enough. I might need to keep searching.

And I’m anxious about next week. It’s my last week at work. Saturday is another Freethinker brunch, then Tuesday is orientation at my daughter’s new school. Wednesday I have a physical exam at the hospital, fill out new employee paperwork, go to my son’s orientation, and go to a meetup group. Then the following week my kids start school, I have my medication appointment, and then CPR class.

Okay, just need to focus on the evening. My son’s been throwing up. This is very concerning, though now that he’s thrown up he seems okay.

Time to unwind for bed. I just finished Lady Oracle by Margaret Atwood, and just like her other novels, it was great. Now I’m trying to decide what to read next.

5 thoughts on “Day 77: Tired

  1. You’ll work though it. I hope you able not stop pre-stressing, esp about things you imagine. But I get it… I do it all the time! I have 3 appts this week, each of which is no big deal and could be rescheduled. But based on my stress level, you’d think I’m running the country while another has declared war on our soil!!!

    I’d keep looking for CPR classes in case that one doesn’t go through. Better to have too many options!

    I hope you were were reading anger that wasn’t there into the email!!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. And… not getting to do what you want (gym; time with kids) due to what you don’t want (backpacks) is always exhausting and triggers guilt/regret. You’ll be on to better things soon!!

    Liked by 2 people

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About Quixie

Hi! I go by "Quixie." Quixie is a shortened version of "quixotic," which means: "exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical." It's how I described my evangelical Christian faith when I started blogging 7 years ago. Now I'm an agnostic atheist who is trying to find a balance between idealism and reality. I write about my mental health journey with bipolar disorder, my loss of faith (deconversion), parenting teens, reading, exercise/health, work-life, and my marriage separation/divorce.