Day 81: I re-arranged my living room

It’s 9 p.m. I’ve taken my evening meds and I’m winding down for the evening. Today went well. At work we distributed over 50 back packs. We only have 25 left. Some parents will be picking them up later in the week.

Friday is going to suck because I’m going to have to say goodbye to my coworkers. I’ve already said goodbye to the volunteers that work once a week.

This will be a busy week for me. Tomorrow night is my daughter’s orientation at her new high school. Wednesday morning I have to have a physical exam for my new job, get drug tested, fill out some paperwork, and attend my son’s 8th grade orientation. Then Wednesday night I have a meetup dinner at a fondue restaurant with a new group, “Ladies meeting friends.”

Thursday is the book club, but I’m still waitlisted, but I’m not planning anything else just in case it opens up. I’m going to be watching my Meetups like a hawk so I can be in one of those 10 slots for September’s meeting, which will likely be created on Friday.

I have some overdue library books. Meanwhile I am reading King Rat, part of James Clavell’s Asian saga series. I had checked out Dune for a second time but sadly, just like last time, I didn’t finish the book before it’s due date and can’t renew. I’m tempted to just buy it.

Friday is the used booksale at the library and I am SO excited. I LOVE new (used) books! I’m going to have to buy new bookshelves for all the new books I’ll be getting (I typically pick up a couple dozen books and then end up re-donating about half of them).

Lucy is doing great. She was thrown off a little bit because I rearranged my living room today. I just…wasn’t happy with the current layout and now I am. I gave her lots of pets and attention today. I even let her lick my soup (which I ended up not wanting). Instead, I had tuna and avocado sandwich.

I’m having trouble making it to the grocery store. I got by when my kids were here and I am still getting by with having stuff to eat. But not meals I can cook. I just haven’t…felt up to that. It’s not the being out-and-about it’s the decision making process. I can’t decide what to buy. I think it might be laziness. But I think also it might be depression.

Oh, I also see my psychiatrist next week. I’m not sure he’ll take my Obamacare or my insurance through my new job that starts in October. He’s mentioned wanting to start me on an SSRI. I’ve done that before and I’m not sure why I stopped. I’m sure there was a reason. He thinks it’ll help with my anxiety.

I’m currently on a mood stabilizer, an antipsychotic that’s used off-label to treat depression, and a blood pressure medicine used off-label to treat short-term anxiety. I’m not sure I’m ready to start something else given health insurance issues, but I’ll have to think about it.

My meds are starting to kick in (they make me sleepy) so I’d better go. I hope you all have had a good start to your week. Thanks for reading, friends.


In case anyone was wondering I have 285 days left til I can file for divorce. I just had the thought, “Wonder how many days?…” and did the math. That’s still a long-ass time!

For those who wonder why so long…my husband and I have been “separated” for the better part of 6 years (with a 2 month “trial” at temporarily getting back together 3 years ago that ended poorly), however we have to physically reside in separate residences for a year and one day, per North Carolina law, before we can file for divorce. I moved out and into an apartment 81 days ago.

4 thoughts on “Day 81: I re-arranged my living room

  1. Good luck with the meetup!
    Have you checked for a used copy of Dune?
    I started buying my groceries through Amazon. Based on prior online grocery shopping, I expected to hate it. But it’s turned out to work well for me. In fact, now that I’m off the starvation diet I’ll be ordering again this week. I also LOVE having the groceries delivered to my porch… packing them i to my car and the very small walk from driveway to porch was far more annoying than I realized.

    Congrats on moving furniture. I want to rearrange my living room but haven’t figured out a better layout

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wish Amazon delivered to my apartment! For some reason USPS won’t deliver packages to my apartment and I have to always pick them up at the post office. It’s different with UPS and Fed Ex, but usually you don’t get to choose.


  2. ps: please be careful with the SSRIs. I’ve been through a lot of them due to negative side effects, including increased depression.

    I’m now on low dose Cymbalta.. primarily for the norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor. It turned out that chronic pain is a big depression trigger for me. Cymbalta provides a good combo for me, without negative side effects.

    Liked by 1 person

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About Quixie

Hi! I go by "Quixie." Quixie is a shortened version of "quixotic," which means: "exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical." It's how I described my evangelical Christian faith when I started blogging 7 years ago. Now I'm an agnostic atheist who is trying to find a balance between idealism and reality. I write about my mental health journey with bipolar disorder, my loss of faith (deconversion), parenting teens, reading, exercise/health, work-life, and my marriage separation/divorce.