Day 105: Tomorrow my mom visits

My mom is coming to visit tomorrow. She lives in New England and I haven’t seen her since before the pandemic. She hasn’t seen my children for even longer. Last time she saw my son he was shorter than me and his voice hadn’t yet dropped. I love my mom, but she can be pretty controlling. I’ve been trying to clean my apartment but I’m just really tired. I could only do 30 minutes of cleaning and my apartment needs more like 2 hours.

I’m not loving my hospital job so far, but at least I don’t go to work with intense dread. It’s just…a lot. I’ll explain more in detail later. My mentor keeps throwing info at me and she won’t stop talking practically without breathing. Because of the nature of her mentorship I end up eating lunch with her, but she eats lunch with some members of the 50 person team who are very unprofessional, catty, immature. It makes me uncomfortable. In 2 or 3 weeks my schedule will change to a later time and then I’ll have the excuse to not eat with them.

I’m walking about 10,000 steps a day, which isn’t monumental, except that it is for me. My average until the last 2 weeks was 3,000 steps a day. Today was the first day on the job I wasn’t in severe pain. I didn’t have to take pain reliever when I got home. I think my body is finally getting used to all the standing and walking. I don’t sit down much at all during the 8 1/2 hours I’m there.

I’m getting distracted: my cat Lucy is snoring on my bed. She’s just the cutest thing ever.

I really don’t want to go to bed because I don’t feel like going to work and I don’t feel like hanging out with my mom this weekend. But sleep I must.

I hate waking up at 5 a.m. I can’t wait til my job starts at 9 a.m.

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About Quixie

Hi! I go by "Quixie." Quixie is a shortened version of "quixotic," which means: "exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical." It's how I described my evangelical Christian faith when I started blogging 5 years ago. Now I'm an agnostic atheist who is trying to find a balance between idealism and reality. I write primarily about my mental health journey (I have bipolar disorder), and I also discuss my deconversion, mindfulness, exercise, music, reading, and other cultural topics.