Goodbye 2021

Hello, 2022!

(I would have written this yesterday but I had a bit of a hangover…shocker)

2022 is going to be a good year. I’m positive about this. I have no precognition about how it’s going to go, however I see the pattern of last year, see how my mind-state has shifted and, from that, conclude that this year is going to…

TOTALLY ROCK.

So, my New Years Eve was one of the best I’ve ever had, maybe the best. I hung out with my new friends, made some new friends, got drunk, and threw axes (at a wall, not at people). I got invited to a Russian Christmas feast next week in which I’ll be making a new dish (which scares the shit out of me because I can’t cook), and meeting more people (which also scares the shit outta me because meeting new people is hard).

Speaking of meeting new people, not one person last night asked me, “So, whaddya you?” which was sooo refreshing because we could talk about whatever the fuck else interests us. I was most interested in how everyone knew each other and what things they had in common. That kept me entertained.

When I got home new year’s morning I was hungover (though not suffering too much because I had drunk lots of water and ate sub sandwiches), but I was really tired and my head was spinning and eyes puffy and I felt a little down…still do…because I got back to my messy apartment and thought, “God, how am I going to pull my shit together?”

I’ve really struggled the last few weeks with being able to basically function that I’ve not been able to keep up with chores and shit. And I think about how poorly my kids are doing and how my daughter is not going to know how to be an adult when she actually turns one in 2 1/2 years.

I’ve not made any resolutions other than to read at least 20 of my unread books on my bookshelf…

Well, my biggest resolution will be to get divorced. I’ll be able to file on May 29th, my son’s birthday.

As far as things to work on…I want to get closer to my friends and maybe have some in my sphere (if not in my apartment one of them having at least taken a ride in my car, which I know doesn’t sound like a big deal but for me it is).

I also want to finish setting up my apartment to feel more “me” and homey and not just a place I’m crashing.

And I’d like a different, better job. One that I can feel challenged and rewarded, that pays enough to live off of and that passes the time (I realize this is a hard ask).

This time next year I hope for the following:

  1. Be divorced with my birth name.
  2. Have a better job.
  3. Become closer and more open with my new friends.
  4. My apartment is homier.
  5. My kids have made some progress out of isolation.

Okay, now that my resolutions are out of the way let me review what happened this last year.

January

  • My kids are still remote learning and it was a nightmare for my kids’ learning and their grades.
  • I am freaking out about losing health insurance soon.
  • I have a couple job interviews that didn’t pan out.
  • I am working in the office alone because of my coworker’s surgery.
  • I feel relief once Biden got sworn in as President.
  • My husband has to go to the hospital (again) which freaks my daughter out.

February

  • My very intelligent daughter is failing her classes, meaning she has to drop out of honors, which means she’s outta the specialty program, which means she has to change schools (again).
  • I now have over 500 followers on WP
  • My husband and I begin couples counseling to help kids and the impending separation
  • I get a lot of 2nd interviews (that didn’t pan out)

March

  • I’m reading 2-3 books a week
  • I am feeling very hopeless about being able to separate from my husband, despite my mom say she can help financially.
  • I am feel despondent over job rejections.
  • I start looking at apartments and am discouraged by the income requirements

April

  • Found an apartment that didn’t require my mom to be on the lease
  • Got my first Covid vaccine!
  • My husband discovers he has lots of $ in stocks which allows us to pay off all our debt
  • We tell the kids we are getting a divorce. It goes surprisingly well.
  • I am obsessive about looking for furniture for my place, feeling sad and anxious about the future.
  • My blog reaches 500 posts

May

  • I start walking again, go to the park near my new apartment
  • I’m feeling melancholic and anxious
  • I moved into my apartment with the help of my kids
  • I’m officially legally separated from my spouse (day 1 of 366 days til I can file for divorce)
  • I start buying things for my apartment

June

  • I continue buying and putting things together for my apartment
  • I’m adjusting to living in an apartment complex with loud neighbors
  • Adjusting to having free time without my kids
  • Keeping apartment clean
  • Emotional mood swings of being alone
  • I adopt Lucy, my cat!
  • I go to my first social group in ages: a book club
  • My kids got their first Covid vaccines

July

  • Pushing myself too hard to make my apartment “perfect”
  • Lots of obsessing about my fern and Lucy
  • I feel lonely without my kids
  • I try (and fail) at aerial yoga

August

  • Attend my first Humanist group meeting
  • Join a gym
  • Got a new job at the hospital
  • Anxiety over giving my resignation
  • I make some IRL friends!!!
  • 3 months in my apartment!
  • I start my new job

September

  • My mom visits
  • I hate my new job

October

  • I still hate my job and I start looking for other work
  • I go to a Halloween event with my friends and have a blast
  • I have a couple interviews I get turned down for

November

  • 7 year anniversary on WordPress!!!
  • Joined another (better) bookclub
  • I tell my boss I’m unhappy and I want to transfer
  • More interviews that don’t turn into jobs

December

  • 200 days in my apartment!
  • More interviews that don’t turn into jobs
  • Missed a week of work
  • Went to a fun Xmas party
  • Hung out with my awesome friends on NYE!

So that was my year. How was yours? What significant events happened in your life? What made you joyful? What made you angry/sad? How has your year been so far? What are you hoping for the new year?

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Thanks for sticking with me this year, friends.

~Quixie

2 thoughts on “Goodbye 2021

  1. Is always refreshing to read your posts, Quixie, because you’re so detailed and thorough and real. Of course, there’s no way to capture it all yet you give the highlights and low points and I mostly hope this helps you to process what is going on in your world. Maybe I’ll be a more consistent blogger this year, who knows? The last few years have been pretty hit and miss. In describing your social experience, you wrote: “I was most interested in how everyone knew each other and what things they had in common.” That is exactly the kind of thing I would want to know, too. So glad I found your blog. Happy New Year!

    Liked by 1 person

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About Quixie

Hi! I go by "Quixie." Quixie is a shortened version of "quixotic," which means: "exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical." It's how I described my evangelical Christian faith when I started blogging 7 years ago. Now I'm an agnostic atheist who is trying to find a balance between idealism and reality. I write about my mental health journey with bipolar disorder, my loss of faith (deconversion), parenting teens, reading, exercise/health, work-life, and my marriage separation/divorce.