33 Days until divorce hearing: hair cut

I cut off all my hair. Well, most of it.

At the longest, my hair is 3 inches. I’ve been growing out my grey hair and couldn’t stand looking at the dyed brown hair any more. So I took scissors to it and snip, snip, snip, snipped.

I can’t hide behind my hair anymore: my round shoulders and double chin. I’ve hated myself for months now that I’ve been taking pictures with people I’m meeting. I’ve gotten really big. I’m usually the biggest person in the photo. And for some reason looking at my half-dyed half-grey hair, on top of that, set me over the edge.

So I snipped off all the color. Now it’s all grey. It’s short. It’s me.

I look like a middle-aged butch lesbian, but there ain’t nothing wrong with that, I suppose.

I feel lighter. I feel more genuine, more authentic. Like I’m not pretending. I hope to grow my hair back long again someday but for now, at least I don’t have to worry about that damn demarcation line anymore.

Now I wonder what everyone else will think. The first test is a zoom meeting tomorrow with coworkers. My hair used to be halfway down my back. That’ll be interesting.

3 thoughts on “33 Days until divorce hearing: hair cut

  1. Nothing like a haircut to give you a fresh view of yourself and the world! I wore a pixie cut for most of my life, and then just as I was going gray a few years ago, decided I needed a change and grew it out long. It seems to offend a lot of people that I have long, graying hair, but I refuse to be ashamed of my age. I got lucky in that I never had to deal with a line of dye demarcation, which can be a hard look to pull off with confidence.

    As for the other body issues, I can sympathize. Go to youtube and watch other women talk about body positivity…both younger and older women there have helped me overcome (mostly) the cringe factor that seems to hit me when I look in the mirror as a middle aged woman. Authenticity and confidence are always the most attractive qualities…so go rock your pixie, girl! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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About Quixie

Hi! I go by "Quixie." Quixie is a shortened version of "quixotic," which means: "exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical." It's how I described my evangelical Christian faith when I started blogging 7 years ago. Now I'm an agnostic atheist who is trying to find a balance between idealism and reality. I write about my mental health journey with bipolar disorder, my loss of faith (deconversion), parenting teens, reading, exercise/health, work-life, and my marriage separation/divorce.