Am I an alcoholic?

I had a double shot of gin my way home before my flight back home, with a side of pulled pork burger and fries. Then I went to another stop and had an IPA. Then, in my next stop I had a total of two IPAs.

So, a total of 4 drinks. And someone for my size, that makes me drunk. But you know what, not drunk enough to not navigate an airport. Not drunk enough to board the plane. Because I’m on my plane. The right plane .

Which is lame. Not diet approved. But I did completely lose my anxiety, I made a new friend at the bar, and I’m not having ruminating thoughts, which I is usually constant.

I realize that I need something else for my anxiety. Maybe Buspar, which has helped me in the past.

You all don’t understand, the alcohol turned me into a social person. I have a friend. And making friends is something I want . I am currently experiencing no anxiety and no racing thoughts. I’m at ease. I’m not impatient and I’m not bored. I’m completely in the moment. But I’m inebriated. I think I need help.

Alcohol can NOT be the answer. It just can’t. It’s detrimental. Worse, it’s evil. Yet, I feel good

Ok. I just need to talk to my doctor.

9 thoughts on “Am I an alcoholic?

  1. It’s certainly not a real solution. Especially if you have an addictive personality and a history. I would throw the poison away before I’m unable to say ‘no’ to it.

    There are ways to take the edge off without side effects, like extra virgin olive oil or garlic for their anti-inflammatory effects instead of NSAIDs… Maybe not a great example, but toxic dependence is not independence.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. As I shared with Ubi, I think the main reason for my drinking is to deal with my ruminating thoughts. I’m going to try out a medicine I’ve tried before. EVOO and garlic has no effect on this as I’ve changed my diet to include these.

      Like

  2. I wouldn’t say that alcohol is “evil”. Certainly it can produce some evil results if overused. But in moderation, it can be OK. I see nothing inherently wrong with a glass of wine with a nice dinner, or a beer after work. (Unless you react very strongly to a single drink, like I do, so I stay off it entirely. Or if it has bad interactions with some other medication you need to be on.)

    So, as to the question about alcoholism. Is it affecting your health? Does drinking ever interfere with your important activities and responsibilities? Does it interfere with work, or does it cost so much that you are having trouble meeting your bills? Are you able to stop after a drink or two, if you have a reason you need to avoid being drunk? Are you able to completely avoid driving after drinking? If your life is not being disrupted, then I don’t think an occasional “I drank too much on this flight” is something to worry about. But if it’s frequent, or causing problems for you, then yeah, talk to you doctor about alternatives.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. After considering this, I would say I have trouble stopping after one drink, I usually have 2 or 3 if I’m out and about, but usually don’t get flat-out drunk, but have on occasions.

      The drinks have always been to deal with my stress. At home, I’d have 2-3 beers once a week. It has contributed to my weight gain. My diet forced me to give up drinking, which I didn’t miss much, but thinking about going back to my life after my trip from seeing my friend stressed me out, and I found that drinking at the airport completely took away both my stress and boredom. I was completely in the moment and was even social!.

      I think the solution may be adding another medicine that I have tried before. It’s a bit sedating and helpful as my brain constantly ruminates. I’m extremely neurotic with my thoughts so hopefully that’ll help again like it did before. The reason I stopped taking it is a different psychiatrist was worried at the time I could overdose on a suicide attempt, but the meds I’m taking now are far more deadly in that sense and I’ve been doing just fine.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. My Aspie daughter, who also has ADD, uses medication to quiet her racing thoughts when she has to settle down and do schoolwork. It really helps. She mentioned to me the other day that while other people have a “train of thought” she has a “roomba of thought”.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. You wrote: “You all don’t understand, the alcohol turned me into a social person. I have a friend. And making friends is something I want . I am currently experiencing no anxiety and no racing thoughts. I’m at ease. I’m not impatient and I’m not bored. I’m completely in the moment. But I’m inebriated. ”
    I very much relate. The problem was 2 fold. I HAD to be inebriated (after a while) in order to feel any of those things…and the worse part… I had no control (just speaking for my story) over how much I had sometimes — so sometimes it ended ugly or at least regretful.
    Today is day 85 sober.
    You’ll find your way to your truth.
    Be blessed, Kate

    Liked by 1 person

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About Quixie

Hi! I go by "Quixie." Quixie is a shortened version of "quixotic," which means: "exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical." It's how I described my evangelical Christian faith when I started blogging 7 years ago. Now I'm an agnostic atheist who is trying to find a balance between idealism and reality. I write about my mental health journey with bipolar disorder, my loss of faith (deconversion), parenting teens, reading, exercise/health, work-life, and my marriage separation/divorce.