Surge of energy

In the last 24 hours I’ve:

Moved around my bedroom and living room furniture

Cleaned my apartment

Bought plants for my apartment

Got rid of old boxes

Boxed-up books I never read to donate to the library

Created a new email address for friends and family

Wrote someone special a hand-written letter

Started reading a book I’ve been putting off

Bought stuff to organize my apartment

Bought new workout clothes that actually fit

Looked online at beds and mattresses the kids need

Looked at the couch and bigger rug I wanted to buy (I have a love seat but not a couch)

Moved the old rug and a cushy chair into my daughter’s room which she loves

It feels like there has been some sort of *snap* in my brain, a waking up, a back to reality. My mood is better; I’m more focused; I’m more energetic. And, of course, I do have to ask myself if I’m hypomanic. I do, after all, have bipolar disorder.

Except…I’m not agitated and I’m sleeping just fine. I even took a nap earlier today and think I will take a nap a little later. I deserve a nap.

I’ve spent time with my kids; I’ve had coffee and something to eat; I’ve read some of my library book. Curling up with my library book in bed and then drifting off into a nap sounds really great right now. I’m not even worried about tomorrow.

Why the new surge in energy and mood? I don’t know, but I feel like I’m back in my apartment when I first got it. Like, this is my surroundings, why do I live in filth? Why do I not decorate it and make it feel homey? Why do I spend all my time in my bed? Why do I wear exercise clothes too small that make me feel fat? Why do I keep books around I don’t love?

Anyway, those questions feel attached to action. I’ve cleaned some but there is still a lot I need to clean. But I’m done for now. I’ve done a lot. Tomorrow my son goes back to school. Not my daughter, of course. Oh, this means I need to get up early. That’ll be a kick in the butt to get me to start walking in the mornings again.

Okay, time for me to curl up in bed with my book and then take a nap. Maybe I’ll do some more cleaning when I’m done. I’ve got the whole evening ahead of me. Rather than dread time, I’m looking forward to it.

I hope you’re having a good Sunday.

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About Quixie

Hi! I go by "Quixie." Quixie is a shortened version of "quixotic," which means: "exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical." It's how I described my evangelical Christian faith when I started blogging 7 years ago. Now I'm an agnostic atheist who is trying to find a balance between idealism and reality. I write about my mental health journey with bipolar disorder, my loss of faith (deconversion), parenting teens, reading, exercise/health, work-life, and my marriage separation/divorce.