3 months left of 2022

I took a trip down memory lane. Reviewed my “year in review”s since 2015. Years 2016 and 2021 (last year) I was a bad ass. Those years required the most courage and willpower.

This year pales by comparison. I have to remind myself of these things about this year:

1. I’ve lost 25 lbs this year, am eating better, and exercising frequently. Major win for my health and I keep on going!

2. I divorced this year. I’ve been wanting to divorce for 7 years and I finally fucking did it.

3. I got a job that allows me to financially take care of myself and my children, that respects me and treats me like a professional.

4. I joined a skating group and attend weekly. So even though I can’t do roller derby I can still have fun skating.

And

5. This has been the least stressful year of my adult life. Sure, it’s been stressful but by comparison this is a piece of cake.

The reason I was taking a trip down memory lane is because I am currently going through a hurricane (though it has barely been a weather event here) and I thought about all the hurricanes I’ve been through (many, many) and how much they stress me out.

So, I’m on edge. It’s not fear. It’s agitation. Obsession. I just feel very emotional. I’ve stopped watching the news and writing about my previous hurricane experiences. Now I’m blogging, much more effective for my mental health.

I ate carbs today. Heaven forbid. I ate 1/4 pint of phish food ice cream. It was extremely delicious. I have to remind myself of three things: 1. I feel stressed because of a legitimate reason (tropical storm weather) 2. I didn’t eat the whole pint and 3. That amount of ice cream is neither going to kill me nor make me gain weight.

I feel like I’m not accomplishing what I want. I’m procrastinating a lot. I’m not on my “A” game. I’m lazy. I want last year’s Quixie back. This year’s Quixie isn’t going through a whole range of emotions but I’m missing the hope and the drive.

I’ve still got 3 months left to make it count. ☺️

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About Quixie

Hi! I go by "Quixie." Quixie is a shortened version of "quixotic," which means: "exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical." It's how I described my evangelical Christian faith when I started blogging 7 years ago. Now I'm an agnostic atheist who is trying to find a balance between idealism and reality. I write about my mental health journey with bipolar disorder, my loss of faith (deconversion), parenting teens, reading, exercise/health, work-life, and my marriage separation/divorce.