Little anxieties

I came up with a solution just now to a problem. The lightbulb lit up immediately when I opened up WordPress: I am going to write down all the little things that are causing me anxiety and make a plan to start problem-solving them. Which sounds….so obvious and yet so smart.

However, my guess is if I write them all down I will be overwhelmed by the list. For there are many things that need addressing. So I wonder if perhaps writing down one thing and then addressing that one thing and then continuing on from there might be a better approach. What do you all think?

There are things that I have to respond to immediately, such as the fact that my daughter’s GED orientation starts tonight and things that need addressing soon but not immediately, such that I am spending more money than I’m taking in (though this is such a big anxiety perhaps I should address it sooner than later).

There is the fact my kids’ old mattresses will be picked up the day before the new ones come in and they will have nowhere to sleep, which is easily solvable – their dad has already agreed they can stay with him until the new mattresses come in. I also need to have people come over to spray for pests. I was seeing bugs a couple weeks ago, none now but I need to make sure to get ahead of it.

Then there is the fact my apartment is getting somewhat messy again, a week after I deep-cleaned it. And the fact I’m not exercising enough with strength training like I’m supposed to. Then there is the fact I may not be able to dress up in my costume and go skating tomorrow night because I have to pick my daughter up for GED orientation, though I can wear it at a Halloween party this weekend, though I should probably figure out what snacks to bring.

My lease is still in my married name, as is my library card, as is my credit card (I was supposed to receive a new one weeks ago but haven’t followed up on that). At least my voter’s registration is in my new name, but then I have to worry about when I’m going to be able to vote.

And don’t get me started at work.

And of course, now I’ve listed out my main stressors, and so now it’s right there in front of me and is overwhelming like I thought it’d be.

Yet, YET, it’s not so bad. I’m going to try to reframe these issues in a more positive light:

  1. My daughter is willing to go to GED orientation.
  2. I have enough $ currently saved to actually spend too much while still paying my bills (at least at this point).
  3. My kids are getting new mattresses so they have a comfortable place to sleep.
  4. I have not seen any bugs in my apartment in a couple weeks.
  5. I am taking steps to better my health; I continue to lose weight, and I’m going for walks fairly regularly.
  6. My apartment can be spotless again within 30 minutes – an hour because I deep cleaned last week.
  7. I will be able to show off my Halloween costume this weekend and have been invited to multiple Halloween events. Apparently, people want to celebrate with me.
  8. I am able to vote.

Wow, that helped a LOT actually. Things really aren’t as bad as my brain is making them out to be.

So, what do I need to focus on right now? I will focus on work. And then on my lunch hour, I will make sure that my daughter has everything she needs for her GED orientation and will call and remind her dad to drop her off. Then I will clean up the place with the help of my son while she’s at orientation so I’m not embarrassed when the men come by tomorrow to pick up the old mattresses.

I will think about today only. And even then, I will try to focus on this very moment and not on the next few hours, because those have not happened yet.

In the meantime, I will also pet my cat Lucy, who has jumped up on my desk chair. She has a calming effect. Yesterday she climbed on my shoulder for the first time, like a parrot, which was the cutest thing ever.

5 thoughts on “Little anxieties

  1. I used to keep a legal pad at home by my desk, and whenever one of those small things would crop up I would write it down. That way, I knew I wouldn’t forget to do it, and when I did get it done I’d have the wonderful chance to cross something off my list. And when I’d feel like there was too much I had to do, I could look back at all those things I had crossed off already, and see that I was actually getting stuff done. I still do this at work, with a list for the short-term stuff and calendar reminders for long-term stuff. There’s no way I could keep everything in my head otherwise.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s a great idea. I have to admit I’m pretty poor at taking care of stuff. I did get a calendar a few months ago that was helping me. I think I still have it might start using it again.

      Like

  2. Ugh, I’m lifelong ADHD and lists were monsters for ages. I still struggle with them. Getting them on the list is great, but then I find that having them on the list makes me feel like I can focus on something else for a bit because, hey, it’s on the list. It’s not like I’ll forget it.

    Then soon the list looms over me because I keep finding more urgent things to do.

    And all the organization/time management books I’ve tried to use become more opportunities for failure…

    Sometimes I wonder how the fuck I’ve ever gotten by…

    Anyway, don’t let the list become your master. When I’ve treated it like a tool and not a commitment/obligation, I’ve done much better.

    The list is yours. You do not belong to it.

    That’s all. I feel low grade guilt coming on for not having an updated list.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It seems my comment might have gotten lost. I did read your comment, Anthony (and good to “see” you around again, by the way!), and I’ve not attempted to make any more lists. I find the lists aren’t helping me at all. I’ll just have to handle things as they come up and live my life that way.

      Liked by 1 person

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About Quixie

Hi! I go by "Quixie." Quixie is a shortened version of "quixotic," which means: "exceedingly idealistic; unrealistic and impractical." It's how I described my evangelical Christian faith when I started blogging 7 years ago. Now I'm an agnostic atheist who is trying to find a balance between idealism and reality. I write about my mental health journey with bipolar disorder, my loss of faith (deconversion), parenting teens, reading, exercise/health, work-life, and my marriage separation/divorce.