5 years ago, now, and 5 years ahead

I saw this image of a sticky note that’s been floating around social media:

And it got me wondering about where I was 5 years ago and what I’d hoped for.

And then after I pondered that, I wondered where I’d like to be in 5 years from now.

So, let’s get into that.

First, what about 5 years ago?

Well, I wrote a post about it. Of course, I did. Okay, so I wrote it 4 1/2 years ago, but it still counts. You can read about it here:

Making a 5 year pla…pla…plan

Thinking about what I wanted for 5 years in the future (which would be April 2023) was very daunting. I could more easily come up with a 20-30 year plan.

Let’s go over that 20-30 year plan first just because I want to tweak it a bit:

1. Living alone 2. Kids live far away 3.Travel

Do I want to live alone 15-25 years from now? Hell no. Sure I’ll always be an introvert, but I want people around so I can go through life with others.

Do I want my kids to live far away? Hell no! Of course, I want them to do what’s best for them, but within driving distance would be ideal.

Do I want to travel? Yes, but not extensively. I’d like a see a bit of the world and then retreat into my own little bubble again.

So, as you can see, (nearly) 5 years has made a difference on what I want for way in the future. That’s interesting.

Now let’s look at my thoughts for 5 years in the future (which will be in 6 months from now):

1. Lose some weight. Unfortunately, I am 10 lbs greater now than I was 5 years ago. I know, and that’s with my losing almost 30 lbs these last few months!!! The old me would have been horrified by this. But you know what? These past 5 years were fucking stressful, thank you very much, and I’m getting back on track, ya know?
2. Go to grad school. This one made me laugh. Why grad school? I think I wanted a better job. I was not making a living wage and couldn’t seem to get ahead. I didn’t need to get tens of thousands of dollars in debt for a better job, time and diligently seeking (and HUNDREDS of applications and DOZENS of interviews) did that for me.
3. Be more charitable: So, I don’t currently volunteer anywhere and, you know what, that doesn’t bother me. In my current job, I indirectly help low-income people get mental health care and that’s pretty fucking rewarding.
4. Make friends. Wahoo, Quix! You have made amazing progress in this area. Enough to way make up for the lack of weight loss.
5. Wear beautiful clothes that express me. Ask me how much I care about this now? Almost none. I do shop at an upscale thrift store that has the cutest clothes so I think they express me well, but honestly, I’m more concerned about comfort these days.

Okay, so what about now? What do I hope to happen or life to look like in the next 5 years. I will go in order of priority:

1. My kids to be thriving. My kids will both be adults (19 and 21) in 5 years and while I won’t have a say in much of what they are doing at that time, I think these next couple of years I can make a big positive impact. I would like to do this by helping my daughter a: get evaluated for autism and sensory processing disorder so she can get the right treatment/help b. get her GED and c. find a job. But also helping her learn how to function in the “real world.” For my son, I’d like to see if I can help him to become less socially isolated. I have no idea how to do that as he’s extremely resistant to any activities outside the home, but I feel like it’s my responsibility to try to facilitate that.
2. Have a life partner. I know! Can you believe this one? It’s my number two. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be ready for marriage again. But I’m finally admitting to myself that I will eventually want a life partner. And 5 years sounds like a decent amount of time. What that looks like is vague in my mind, but I know that I want it.
3. Travel to another country. Yes, I know that I dismissed this in my 20-30 year plan from before, but rather than travel the world I just want to go to one other country (outside of North America). Ideally, it’d be to Australia (my dream, but I don’t know when I can find the time and money), but my mom says she’ll take me on a cruise somewhere within the next year or so if I’ll get my passport (which I’m getting next week).
4. Lose at least 20 lbs. Twenty pounds down is still not my ideal, but you know what – it’s realistic for me. I think I can maintain it. I have felt good at that weight and I have been healthy. And I will say this now, even if I end up gaining weight, I will choose to love myself. But if I read this in 5 years and weigh more now is the chance to start your weight-loss journey again, Quix!
5. Get promoted to a higher-paying position. Primarily so I can start saving up to buy a house. Now, this is not my number 1 priority, because I don’t hate renting, but I think eventually owning a home might be a good idea financially.

So, how about you? What did you hope for 5 years ago? Did it happen? What do you hope for, 5 years from now?